Where are all the kids?

The problem with reading blogs is that it leads to the reading other blogs. And that means that I end up reading and reading and then suddenly it's 2am, and I needed to go to bed 2 hours ago.

Last night I stumbled upon a one called Free Range Kids.

Free range kids? Huh? The last time I checked, free range applied to chickens and eggs.

Free range
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Free-range chickens being fed outdoors.
Free range is a method of farming husbandry where the animals are allowed to roam freely instead of being contained in any manner. The principle is to allow the animals as much freedom as possible, to live out their instinctual behaviours in a reasonably natural way...


Hmmm. Allowed to roam freely. Living out instinctual behaviours.

My brother and I were talking about our childhood, and both of us wondered how much supervision we actually had. It was probably more than we realized. We were lucky enough to grow up in a great neighborhood, with a herd of kids the same age. In our cul-de-sac, we had a small grass field. My dad appointed himself the summer groundskeeper, and our neighbor Wayne was the winter groundskeeper. This little spot had many uses - it was a soccer and football field, it was a Bigwheel and BMX racetrack and a hockey rink. Any of the moms could see where we were by looking out a window. We all knew how far we were allowed to go (to the end of the street but no further!) and spent hours racing around on bikes or running through the sprinklers. We knew who had the best cookies (Sherry) the most Popsicles (Mom) and the latest toys (The Walker's) and that if we were lucky, Mom wouldn't catch us eating all the raspberries from the patch in our yard. If one of us wiped out on a bike or a skateboard, we went to the closest mom for Band aids and Koolaid or Hawaiian Punch. We had lemonade stands and one of us tried selling cheese. Amazingly, we all survived.

Fast forward to today. When I bought my house, I wanted to be in an established neighborhood for a few reasons. One was so that my (then future) kids could walk to school and play in the yard and have fun. I didn't want to be in a front-garage, cookie cutter car culture suburb where there were no sidewalks to play hopscotch on, no schools within walking distance and teeny tiny postage stamp yards that wouldn't hold a swing set if you folded it in half.

Lily loves playing in the yard - she has a swing and a slide and a sandbox. She helps water plants and pulls weeds, and runs around, well, like a little chicken. Here and there, poking at this and that. I'm sure she's eaten things I don't want to know about. She draws on the sidewalks with her chalk, and steals my garden tools on a regular basis. She has learned that petting a bee hurts. She knows to dust herself off when she wipes out on the sidewalk. She helped me build the (almost done) cover for her sandbox. She is great with a tape measure and handed me the screws and the boards as I worked. And she's not quite two. "I helping" is the phrase of the week around here.

What I have noticed in my 'hood, is the lack of kids playing outside. I know they are around, I see their parents out walking with strollers. I see minivans drive by, car seats in the back, little arms waving sippy cups and bags of Cheerios. Where are they going? As I type, I can see a rare sight outside on the street. A mom and a baby in a stroller, and 2 small boys on bikes. The boys biked ahead and then waited for their mom to catch up. Most of the time, there are no kids playing outside. What do they do all day? If Lily is cooped up all day, then she usually has a terrible time going to sleep because she hasn't burned any of her energy off. She needs the fresh air and exploration time.

** Later on** My dad and I took Lily out for lunch today. As we walked through the neighborhood, the local school playground did not have a single soul in it. It was 2pm. In the middle of the summer on a glorious day, it should have been full of kids swinging and sliding, yelling and playing. The lone occupant was a magpie that swooped through to pick up a random piece of garbage. Dad commented that the kids were missing because their parents wouldn't let them out to play. Sad but true. Kids should be able to go to the park and play once they are old enough. Instead they are inside watching crappy TV and playing video games. Maybe some of them are enrolled in day camps somewhere. How on earth is this generation of children going to learn how to make it in the world if they are not even given the skills and the confidence to go to the neighborhood park to play?

As we walked, Dad and I talked about the 'free range' childhoods we both had. I can recall my grandma telling me stories about my dad as a child. Once she sent him to the store to get a mixing bowl. He was probably 4 years old. Granted my dad grew up in a series of very small towns, but still, the thought of a 4 year old walking to the store alone, buying something and then walking home is unheard of in today's world.

When we were young, it was a huge deal to go to the Red Rooster store on our own. We usually rode our bikes, and in those days no one had even seen a bicycle helmet, let alone owned one. Mom would give us a couple of dollars to buy a kite, and with the leftover change we could grab a few treats. She let us go without thinking twice about it. We were always thrilled in the summer when we were given $5 each, and sent to the local pool. Again, no parental involvement. Mom knew when the public swim started and ended, and that the lifeguards were there to supervise. The $5 bought us our $2 admission, a locker, and left enough money for a pop and fries and gravy at the concession stand at the pool. We would play and swim until we were so exhausted we could barely pedal our bikes home. (Now that I am a parent, I see that it was a great way for us to have fun, Mom got some free time and a quiet house in exchange.) Will I let Lily do this?

I probably will. The only way to change this 'something bad might happen' mindset is to do things differently. I want her to learn how to cross the road. I want her to be able to walk to grandma and grandpa's by herself, when she's old enough. I want to be able to say, yes you can go to the pool today. If she learns how to do this now, then the sky will be the limit when she's older.

Here is a quote from Free Range Kids that says it all. Take a look at the site, and see for yourself. I can't wait to read more. In the meantime, I'll be outside with my little free range chick.

Do you ever...
..let your kid ride a bike to the library? Walk alone to school? Take a bus, solo? Or are you thinking about it? If so, you are raising a Free Range Kid! At Free Range, we believe in safe kids. We believe in helmets, car seats and safety belts. We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail. Most of us grew up Free Range and lived to tell the tale. Our kids deserve no less. This site dedicated to sane parenting. Share your stories, tell your tips and maybe one day I will try to collect them in a book. Meantime, let's try to help our kids embrace life! (And maybe even clear the table.)

Lenore