Ah, the joys of working at the Despot during a full moon. I almost forgot how that wonderful orb affects the general population.

This weekend's gems:

A lady that was astonished that the kitchen she SPECIAL ORDERED had not arrived a mere 48 hours after she placed the order. I was astonished that she had an installer already. Any installer worth hiring is booked well into the new year. I'm sure she just got lucky (snort!) and that her new cabinets will look great. Maybe they'll even be level. Here's hoping they are - she spent $11k on a new corian counter top to go with them.

A couple that somehow thought it was Home Depot's fault that we were not able to replace the receipt and extended warranty information they lost, for the television they purchased over a year ago. Couldn't I look it up for them? After a lengthy explanation that we are not able to look anything up after 90 days, and that really, it was their responsibility to maintain their own records, especially in regards to a warranty, they were still adamant that we were in the wrong. My question for them would have been, 'What possessed you to buy a television from the same place that sells nails and drywall and 2 x 4 studs?'

But I couldn't, so I just bit my tongue and had a manager tell them the exact same thing I told them.